Story Archive

A Lot of Nerve

“They kept throwing beers into their [pickup truck bed],” said Mike Dawson, an assistant manager at a Walmart in Titusville, Fla. He had asked the two people who were leaving with a dozen cases of beer to show their receipt. “I ran up to get their license plate, but when I realized how close I was, I jumped in the back so they didn’t run me over.” The alleged thieves drove off, with Dawson in the back, but stopped twice. “One time they tried to beat me up and I lost my glasses,” he said. “The second time was in the back woods somewhere. I was like, ‘I’m not getting out for you to run me over’.” Dawson sought help: “I kept throwing beers from the back of the truck, not at people’s cars but towards people’s cars, hoping that someone would call the police.” A civilian gave chase, Dawson escaped, and police arrested Joseph Long, who faces charges of stealing the beer and kidnaping Dawson. Walmart rewarded Dawson with a pink slip. A spokesman explained that he had aced three training sessions on store safety, and should not have jumped into the truck. (AC/WESH Orlando, WFTV Orlando) ...No, he should’ve let them run him over. That’d be safe, according to Walmart policy.