Story Archive

Cheesy Crime

A man stopped in a convenience store in Chicago, Ill., and bought a bag of chips. He then stepped over to a nacho cheese dispenser and started pumping glops into his chip bag, the cashier says. She warned him that he would have to pay for the cheese, but he threatened her, twisted her arm to push her away, and fled. She called police. Officers quickly caught up with Michael Richards, 50, and arrested him on robbery charges. The next day, Richards was brought before Cook County Judge James Brown. “So what was stolen was [dramatic pause] the cheese?” asked the judge after hearing the story. “The defendant was informed that it was ‘not yo’ cheese,” confirmed Assistant State’s Attorney Dan Piwowarczyk, not even cracking a smile. The judge ordered Richards held on $10,000 bail. (RC/Chicago Tribune) ...Which is nothing compared to what he ordered for the prosecutor.
Original Publication Date: 29 May 2011
This story is in True’s book collections, in Volume 17.

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