Story Archive

Freak of Nomenclature, Automotive Division

“I am a victim of the handling characteristics of the car,” explained an attorney from Portland, Ore., to a judge in Clatsop County Court. The “prominent” lawyer brought a PowerPoint presentation to show why he should be found innocent of speeding when he passed a slow motor home. “I decided I was going to move from the last spot in this line to the first spot in this line,” and punched the accelerator on his BMW 535xi, which goes from 0–60 mph in about 5.6 seconds. That’s when he was able to “immediately perceive” he had gotten the attention of a state trooper, who cited him for driving 76 mph in a 55 zone, which he said was “a big disappointment.” At the end of the two-hour trial, Clatsop County Circuit Court Judge Philip Nelson remained unimpressed and fined the attorney, C. Akin Blitz, $182. He had been cited by Trooper David Corkett. (RC/Astoria Daily Astorian) ...C. Akin. C. Akin Blitz. Blitz, Akin, Blitz! C. Trooper Corkett. C. Judge Nelson Gavel “Guilty!” And C. Everyone Smile.
Publication Date: 05 July 2009
This story is in True’s book collection, Volume 16.

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