Story Archive

He’s Unique, Just Like Everyone Else

A Taco Bell restaurant in Appleton, Wisc., called police at 2:30 a.m., reporting a man was passed out in his car in the drive-through lane. Officers tapped on the window, but couldn’t get his attention. When he finally woke up, he turned up the music on his stereo “and started bobbing his head to the music,” the resulting report said. Once officers got Bryan J. Jens, 27, out of his car, they asked him to perform field sobriety tests. “C’mon, we’re not all stupid here,” Jens told officers. “Do you even need to do these on me? Serious. C’mon.” Jens was arrested and charged with fifth-offense drunk driving (a felony), possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia, and driving with a revoked license. (RC/Appleton Post Crescent) ...He is right: not all the people in this story are stupid.
Original Publication Date: 10 July 2011
This story is in True’s book collections, in Volume 18.

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