Story Archive

Highly Happy Too

The McDonald’s hamburger chain has revealed a new “Happy Meal” mascot after testing it for several years in other countries. The red, boxy figure, which goes by the name “Happy”, sports a huge human mouth and golden arches for eyebrows. The Washington Post dubs the character “terrifying” and “horrible.” The mascot, it says, “looks like someone put long, gangly spaghetti arms on a demonically possessed washing machine.” The figure is so bad, it beats Burger King’s “King” character, which previously “held the monopoly on Unnecessarily Creepy Fast Food Mascots.” The Los Angeles Times notes the mascot’s critics online have been merciless, with such comments as “That is not right with God,” and “Someone stuck a mouth on the box. How many years was this in development?” (RC/Washington Post, Los Angeles Times) ...As if anything could be more horrifying than a clown.