Story Archive

If You Can Read this You’re Too Close

An unidentified student at East Lee County High School in Lehigh Acres, Fla., wore a t-shirt to class that apparently frightened school officials. “I just find it to be funny,” the boy said, “and I like the humor in the message.” School officials did not find it funny, and called the sheriff. The shirt read: “A friend will help you move, but a real friend will help you move a body.” The message didn’t worry the deputy who responded. “At this time, there is no immediate [threat] to anyone and [the boy] returned to class,” he wrote in his report. (JW/Naples Daily News) ...Actually, there is a real threat: he’s likely to get a terrible education, seeing as how dumb his school’s officials are.
Original Publication Date: 27 March 2011
This story is in True’s book collections, in Volume 17.
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