Just Visit Their Site Less

Sometimes I Want To cover a story that cannot possibly be put into the email newsletter: those that definitely will trigger filters. Luckily, those sorts of stories can go on the web site. Hence this page. The story is not completely “safe for work” — but the included photo is.

This story “would have been” included in the 26 May 2019 issue:

Just Visit the Site Less

“Adult” web site Pornhub has introduced a new product to save men from their “worst nightmare,” a visible public erection. Enter the Pornhub-branded “Bonerless Bathing Suit” with a built-in liner to help hide any unsightly bulges. How does it do that? It is designed to “hold down” pop-ups without “strangling” them, the company says. The price? Just $69.69. (RC/Sydney Telegraph) …And if you thought a public boner is a turn-off for hot girls, just wait until they see your “PornHub” brand shorts.

Photo: just about the only picture PornHub could supply that is “safe for work.”

And sure enough, the brand clearly shows on the garment, as you can see here (click on it — just once, damn it! — to make it bigger).

Sure it’s a publicity stunt. But that doesn’t mean that anyone will come away with a positive impression of the company.

If you need help to avoid this particular problem, “Just Visit Their Site Less”! There: I just saved you $69.69 — almost certainly plus shipping.

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10 Comments on “Just Visit Their Site Less

  1. Okay, it’s taking me altogether too long to figure out how to get to the purchasing page for this product. I want to see reviews! I wonder if it is (as Amazon says) frequently purchased with … little blue pills.

    When you find the page, come back and provide the link, please! It’s not something I want to take the time to research myself…. -rc

  2. With a price like $69.69, the shipping should be free. Also, I can’t help but wonder how, after a day of wearing the garment and (presumably) putting its assets to good use, the man will subsequently get it off. (The bathing suit, I mean.)

  3. I found two links to buy the suit from (I searched Google not PornHub, I promise!)

    First is the order page. No reviews but it appears to be sold out.

    Second is bonerless.com (seriously!)

    Also no reviews but they have a song!

    Both sites are sfw but both link to a pornhub url so you may get in trouble anyway if you visit from work….

    Actually, the second redirects to PornHub (that’s where you land when going to that domain), so almost surely not “safe” in a work environment. -rc

  4. I do not ever recall a time that I checked a man’s swim suit before checking his brain case. Smarter is better every time.

  5. Any significance to the price? Seems suggestive and counter intuitive!

    The only significance is the suggestive one, as documented here (which page is not safe for work environments). -rc

  6. There’s another cure for unwanted erections. Just get to be my age.

    Now that’s funny! (The comment, not the circumstance.) -rc

  7. Any bets on how long it will take before we see an article about a teacher caught wearing one of these on the job out of necessity?

    I’d love to get the actual statistics, but anecdotally it seems to me from the news reports I’ve seen that female teachers targeting male students accounts for at least half of the cases. -rc

  8. I suspect that (stories of female teachers being more frequent than stories of male teachers) says more about editors; the stories I do see about male teachers are far more local.

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