Story Archive

What to Bring to a Sword Fight

Santino Guzzo, 29, of South Union, Pa., was attacked by a “ninja” — a man in a black suit carrying a sword. “The only word that comes to mind is, ‘seriously’?” Guzzo said. “I know this isn’t a laughing matter, but how many people get attacked by a ninja? Really, a ninja?” Police say the man had broken into 11 cars and then tried to stab Guzzo with his sword. Guzzo quickly put an end to the attack: he pulled a gun. “He was like a gazelle that just got attacked by a lion,” Guzzo said. “He got up and fell, and got up and fell. Then he jumped off a cliff.” The ninja hasn’t been found, but Guzzo is not afraid of his return. “I’m a firm believer in my Second Amendment rights,” he said. (MS/Pittsburgh Tribune-Review) ...Which he can say thanks to his First Amendment rights.
Original Publication Date: 08 May 2011
This story is in True’s book collections, in Volume 17.
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