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When Miami Beach, Fla., police Detective Reinaldo Casas tested positive for cocaine, he was fired. But Casas filed a grievance. “Having never knowingly used cocaine, I was baffled, perplexed and confused,” Casas wrote. During arbitration, Casas testified that a friend had given him a cream to enhance his ...uh... male performance. The friend, Idilio Godinez, testified he had received the cream as a gift from “an old Cuban guy.” The cream was applied directly to the underperforming organ, and worked, but Godinez and Casas said they didn’t realize it contained cocaine. While the city called Casas’ story “incredible” and said he should have known what he was applying to his body, the arbitrator disagreed. Casas was reinstated with full back pay. (MS/Miami Herald) ...“It tingles, so you know it’s working.”