No Longer Weird

There are quite a few topics that maybe have been covered in True in the past, but unless there’s a major, interesting, and/or funny twist to them, I skip over them lately because they happen too often. I’ve rarely if ever announced that I’m no longer covering such stories; it’s just an internal (to my head) rule.

No Longer Weird: Burglar/intruder falls out of ceiling, surprising victims below, or getting stuck in the ceiling, chimney, or vent and begging for help from the victims. (Or, sometimes, not being found stuck in a restaurant stove vent for weeks, months, or even years.) This one is a freeze frame from the “Cops” series (November 22, 2014), and shows a suspect being held at gunpoint by (I’m pretty sure) Omaha, Neb., officers (click to see larger).

In fact, there are so many such items on my mental list that I couldn’t possibly rattle them all off if asked to — but I certainly know them when I see one in the news!

In the 5th episode of True’s Uncommon Sense Podcast, I started talking about them: they’re definitely entertaining stories, even if you have heard one (or 12) like it before. As I run across Yet Another Such Story, I’ll mention it in an episode. There’s currently a backlog, so there will probably be one every episode for awhile.

And this page will collect them into one place — over time. I’ll update it every few weeks to bring it up to date as I talk about the individual topics in the podcast.

No Longer Weird: the List

  • Episode 5: Burning your house down while trying to kill insects with fire or flammable chemicals.
  • Episode 10: Someone trying to pass (or deposit at a bank) a “million-dollar bill” (which have never existed as legal currency).
  • Episode 12: Carjacker can’t drive away the car he just stole because he can’t drive a manual transmission.
  • Episode 13: Drunk driver caught because he fell asleep at a red light, and is still snoring when the cops arrive.
  • Episode 14: Burglars falling through the ceiling, or trying to break in via the chimney or stove vent. Especially in the run-up to the winter holidays!
  • Episode 15: Faking your own kidnaping to either get away from your wife for a bit, or to get money for drugs.
  • Episode 16: Gasoline station robbers who flee and are quickly caught …because they ran out of gas.
  • Episode 17: Government aid hotline (or Dial-a-Prayer number) is printed wrong, and callers instead reach phone sex hot-hot-hotline.
  • Episode 18: People who had their illegal drugs stolen, so they call the police to report the theft.
  • Episode 19: Drug dealers setting up a meeting with a customer, getting the phone number wrong, and accidentally texting a cop instead of the customer.
  • Episode 20: People making movies or videos with toy guns, and of course the police show up thinking there’s a real robbery in progress.
  • Episode 21: Police dispatchers being fooled by threatening sounds during a 911 call which actually turn out to be …someone playing a video game.
  • Moremany more! — to come.

What About Zero Tolerance?

Why aren’t ZT stories “no longer weird”? In some ways they are, but in other ways they’re not. As discussed in Podcast 10: “I do in fact pass on a lot of ZT stories as ‘no longer weird.’ I probably let about ten times as many just go by as I use as stories in This is True. But now and then, there’s some bizarre new twist that catches my attention, and will demonstrate to readers that yes, the outrageously weird phenomenon of zero tolerance is still alive and well not just in schools, not just in American schools, but guess what: kids grow up and zero tolerance is spreading out into the real world in the U.S. and other places. So that’s not ‘no longer weird,’ but extremely weird indeed.”

It’s probably much worse than that: I likely pass on 99 percent of the ZT stories I see in the news. In other words, I probably could find and write up a zero tolerance story just about every week — but don’t. These days, I only include them in the mix when I find they’re illustrative of a point.

One Response to No Longer Weird

  1. Mike, NJ October 13, 2017 at 12:47 pm #

    Nice! Additional instances will probably be equally WTF & funny-as-hell.

    Yep, these are (or at least were!) worthy stories for True, and definitely funny; their only sin is that they just happen too often to be thought of as “weird” anymore, unless there’s a significant extra detail that makes it really stand out. I expect that to happen now and then! And I have a backlog of subjects so I can continue to dole them out in the podcast. -rc

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