This Week’s Newsletter

Last Week’s Issue

To get these issues free by email each week, click here to open a subscribe form. (Or cruise around the web site to see more samples, archive, and info on our terrific book collections of thousands of past stories.)

Since 1994, this is the 1556th issue of Randy Cassingham’s...

Enable images to see header
7 April 2024: Never Give a Sucker an Even BreakCopyright ©2024

In the Dark: A total solar eclipse is sweeping across the United States this week. It will only be a partial event in Florida, but kids in some schools there won’t even be allowed to see that: various school districts say they will keep children indoors “to keep their students safe.” (Other districts will release children early so they don’t have to be responsible for supervising them during that time, though of course that’s not how they put it.) The Citrus County School District saidthat due to “safety concerns,” all outdoor activities — including recess, PE classes, and sports practices — will be moved indoors for the entirety of the not-quite-three-hour eclipse duration. School districts in Manatee, Polk, Pasco, and Hernando Counties have made similar edicts. (RC/WFLA Tampa) ...Don’t worry kids, you’ll get another chance: a total solar eclipse will pass right over Florida in 2045.

TAKE MY MONEY!Not a Cheapskate: Howard Vernon, 38, told the story of his Easter, working the drive-thru of a Willowick, Ohio, Burger King: “He ordered two sausage egg andcheese croissants, and a sausage biscuit and hashbrowns, and the order came out to $8 and he was like, ‘my order can’t be right it should be like $11,’ and I’m like trying to explain to him that we had a promotion going on and like it’s cheaper and he started cussing and getting all loud, and I was like I don’t know what to tell you I don’t know why you want to pay more money.” Vernon said the man sped away, but came back through the drive-thru a minute later — with a gun. The man allegedlyjumped out, steadied his gun on the car at the window, called Vernon a racial slur, and threatened to kill him. “At the end of the day, it was about some bread and sausage sandwiches at 9 o’clock in the morning on Easter, and you’re that mad that you’d put a gun in somebody’s face?” Vernon said. Willowick police have shared video of the incident and have asked for anyone who recognizes the man to contact them. (MS/WOIO Cleveland) ...His bail will be too low.

This Issue’s Exclusive Sponsor:

Xero Minimalist Shoes meet Boots!

Enable images to see graphicWant truly comfortable and good-for-your-feet boots? Heck yeah we have those. Like the Mika for women. Good looks, great function, and only 12.3 ounces each (for women’s size 7). Or look through Xero’s other boot styles for men, women, and kids. Fun!

Xero Shoes: Lightweight casual comfort.

You’re History: Domonique Brown taught U.S. History at Taylor (Mich.) Preparatory High School. She had seven years of experience and won teacher of the month. She was also a graduate student and a rapper. That last part, she said, attracted repeated complaints from an anonymous parent, to which the school responded with a series of meetings that spanned five months. “I was like ... can we tell that parent to come in and see professionalism, see me in a classroom, see me after school,see me at all the games, see me dropping kids off every day, buying food?” the teacher said. “Can they come see me in my element before they try to say I’m unprofessional in it?” Eventually, Brown was fired. Once that happened, she brought some of her now-former students into her rapping for a video that’s gotten tens of thousands of views. “Music is part of the culture,” Brown said. “We’re from Motown, this is what we do.” The school said that it was limited in how it could respond, but that itwould “continue fostering a distraction-free teaching and learning environment.” (AC/WJBK Detroit) ...Which is more distracting: what a teacher does off campus, or firing her for it?

County Lies About the Eclipse. State prison system has spent its entire budget for power less than half-way through its budget period. How to “poison” A.I. image generators (and why that’s futile, IMO). Florida Man interrupting airline flight arrested and dragged off plane before it can even take off. Florida Man pulls stupid stunt which leads to the discovery that he is working illegally because.... Salmon hatchlings have to “walk” part of the way to the Pacific ocean. City’sattempt to clean up blight fails so spectacularly, even their solution is obliviotic. Woman rushes injured animal to pet hospital only to discover.... Fun with a number that scares superstitious fools. Yep, there is plenty more in the full edition (and no outside ads). Plus you’ll be part of the community that makes True possible, and you get to decide your level of support. Upgrade here and thanks!

Cheery Cherry arrives with the last supper.A Good Life, and A Good Death: Mary Simmons of West Virginia was caring for her best friend, HeatherBowers, who was dying of cancer. “Right out of the gate it was Stage 4,” Simmons said. Bowers had one last wish: she sure would love her favorite meal — the Hawaiian pork plate from Mama Kwan’s Grill & Tiki Bar. The problem: the restaurant is in Kill Devil Hills, N.C., a six-hour drive away. Simmons made a call and left a message. The reply: owner Kevin Cherry was on the way. About half-way there, Cherry said he had to psych himself up. “I had to talk to myself, saying, ‘You can’t walk in herelike this’,” he told a reporter. “‘You’ve got to walk in with a little bit of sunshine from the Outer Banks’.” He made it in time, and Bowers died the next day. Cherry not only didn’t charge for the meal or its delivery, he said he would make a $1,000 donation to the hospice that kept Bowers comfortable. Why did Simmons tell the story? “I just think maybe, if people see that kind of kindness, it’ll start spreading,” she said. (RC/WAVY Portsmouth) ...Pass it on.

The Blind Leading the Blind
Unlicensed Driver Gives Driving Lessons to Intoxicated and Unlicensed Friend
WPBF West Palm Beach (Fla.) headline

Did You Find an Error? Check the Errata Page for updates.

This Week’s Contributors: MS-Mike Straw, AC-Alexander Cohen, RC-Randy Cassingham.

Pass It On, the last tagline says. And You Can! As the story of the week you are allowed to share it from posted on Telegram, Mastodon, Instagram, and Facebook, or grab from any of those to share elsewhere.

I’ve Had a Lovely and Slow conversation with Craig in Georgia, a retired Engineering Professor who, last year, “finally decided to do the ‘right’ thing and not be such a cheapskate & finally subscribe to Premium.” I’ve found “finally” means different things to different people, but he went on to explain: “I do remember vividly how I first found out about you and your publication,” while still teaching in 1994 or 1995. “We had a brand newcolleague who, at lunch, was just gushing about this hilarious new newsletter that was written by some guy who had worked at JPL, and had given it all up to publish. Earlier in his career he had done some work at JPL too, [probably as a] visiting engineering professor, or consultant.”

“I must admit though,” he said in a note this week, that “I get very nervous writing to you, because I have often used the excuse, ‘I’m an engineer & professor, not a journalist’ to explain my poor writing skills, but I know you are both an engineer and an exceptional writer. Especially this week, after pointing out in #1555, ‘the poor quality of journalism’.”

While I’m flattered, he was mistaken about my education, but it continued to be interesting — in my blog: Engineering the Future.

I Am Often Astonished about how very interesting the Honorary Unsubscribe honorees are, which I often don’t find out about until I really start digging. This week’s honoree is a great example. When looking for a subject, I ran across Bruce Kessler the TV director, and thought he would have been one of “the people you will wish you had known.”

I had no idea about his early years other than a brief mention of his racing his mother’s Jaguar, which admittedly sealed my interest as I consider whether or not she knew he was racing that rather fancy car — there were only 12,055 of them made, and today one in truly superb condition is worth more than a quarter-million bucks. Then I got to the details as I found tidbit after tidbit as I was writing his story.

It just goes to show that probably most people have interesting aspects to their life journeys. Like my blog post about Premium reader Craig, mentioned above. I was already writing that story when I got the idea of simply seeing if he was mentioned in any news stories, and got the surprise of his going to speak to more than a million kids at schools.

Most people think they’re not particularly interesting, but I’ll bet the vast majority of you have something special in your life — a story — which others would truly find fascinating. Don’t denigrate yourself, maybe have a friend help you remember a story or three.

Ten Years Ago in True: when police toe the Thick Red Line.

This Week’s Sunday Reading: Outrage at my outrage because I should have been ...outraged?! Well, someone was certainly unclear, thus: Fighting the Good Guys.

This Week’s Honorary Unsubscribe goes to Bruce Kessler. According to his younger brother, Kessler lived three lives, any one of which would have been enough for most. Click for the 4-minute story.

  • And a Salute to Louis Anthony “Lou” Conter, the last survivor of the sinking of the USS Arizona during the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941. He died in California on April 1, at 102.
  • Honorary Unsubscribe Archive.

Basic Subscriptions to This is True are Free at All stories are completely rewritten using facts from the noted sources. This is True® (and Get Out of Hell Free® and Stella Awards®) are registered trademarks of ThisisTrue.Inc. Published weekly by ThisisTrue.Inc, PO Box 666, Ridgway CO 81432 USA (ISSN 1521-1932).

Copyright ©2024 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All broadcast, publication, retransmission to email lists, web site or social media posting, or any other copying or storage, in any medium, online or not, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission from the author. Manual forwarding by email to friends is allowed if 1) the text is forwarded in its entirety from the “Since 1994” line on top through the end of this paragraph and 2) No fee is charged. I request that you forward no more than three copies to any one person — after that, they should get their own free subscription. I appreciate people who report violations of my copyright.

To get this delivered to you every week, click here to open a subscribe form.

Last Week’s Issue