To get these issues free by email each week, click here to open a subscribe form. (Or cruise around the web site to see more samples, archive, and info on our terrific book collections of thousands of past stories.)
Since 1994, this is the 1683rd issue of Randy Cassingham’s...
| 13 September 2026: Pattern-Finding Creatures | Copyright ©2026 https://thisistrue.com |
Hard Time: Now official: convicted felons serving time show more care for the community than politicians. [Premium Only]
What the Flock? The fight over license plate cameras continues, this time in Florida. [Premium Only]
A Hairy Situation: Georgia National Guard soldier Zion Mitchell, 21, was deployed to Washington, D.C. Sitting with seven other National Guard members, Mitchell got into an argument with another soldier over whether their hair was within Army regulations. Mitchell reportedly told her, “I would slap the Jackson 5 out of you.” The soldier later told police that’s when she heard the “holster click.” Several Guard members in the van reported seeing Mitchell pointing his sidearm directly athis fellow soldier, and when they objected, they say Mitchell responded, “It doesn’t matter, it was on safe.” Another member told investigators there was a round in the chamber. He’s now facing charges of assault with a dangerous weapon and possession of a firearm during a crime of violence, and is jailed without bond. (MS/WUSA Washington DC) ...Now he’s on safe.
Commotion: “Online addiction” can lead to death (one absolutely crazy example). [Premium Only]
Connotation: A British rock group was setting up for a concert at Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts outside Washington D.C. A tour bus, apparently belonging to the band, had a mechanical problem; a mobile service technician came to see what was wrong. The bus was lifted and the unidentified mechanic went underneath, but the support failed, and he was crushed. The band, obviously upset at the death, canceled their appearance. The group? Squeeze. (RC/WTTG Washington DC,London Independent) ...Irony doesn’t always know when to leave well enough alone.
(Note: Much more on this story in the Author’s Notes below.)
Caught In a Pickle: A concerned relative called the Glenpool, Okla., police to report three children — aged 8, 5, and 1 — had been left home alone. The relative said they’d called the mother, Feather Roberts, who explained that she and the father, Andrew Dick, were 20 minutes away in Bixby — playing pickleball. Police say the couple returned home while investigators were there, and confirmed where they’d been. Officers determined this wasn’t the first time the kids had been left alone,and when they asked how the kids could have contacted them in an emergency, Roberts allegedly explained they had an iPad they could use. The couple was charged with three counts of child neglect. They did avoid a fourth charge: their infant had been left with a sitter. (MS/KOTV Tulsa) ...They’re only 3/4 obliviots.
Digital Protest: Who is protesting against A.I.?! [Premium Only]
A Thing or Two: Police in Ireland deemed it necessary to assure people that there was not someone wearing a Dr. Seuss “Cat in the Hat”costume stalking people in the streets of several counties at night, despite photographic evidence of such spreading online with claims of police investigations. The photos are A.I.-generated, they said — it was a hoax, and there were no such investigations. “To be clear,” Garda in Wexford said, “the Cat in the Hat was not in your driveway while you were out and he is not currently hiding out in Curracloe.” A few weeks later in Canada, police in West Kelowna, B.C., deemed it necessary toannounce that yes, they were looking for someone stalking the streets at night: security cameras got video of someone in a C-in-the-H costume chasing a teenage girl. They released a still shot of the cat ...er, man, in hopes someone else can supply more video to help identify him. A B.C. RCMP spokesman acknowledged that they were aware of the online hoax, and theorize their suspect may have been inspired by news reports of that trending hoax. The Canadian Press notes that teens inTennessee and Colorado have been arrested for harassment for making specific Cat in the Hat threats in online posts as part of that trend. (RC/Belfast Live, Canadian Press) ...There isn’t a Cat. / The police said so, too. / Now there IS one! / Fish, what should we do?
This Cat’s an Ass-Hat: Not actually a follow-on to the above story, just another obliviot who deserves the label. [Premium Only]
Update As Promised: Support has been great the past few weeks, with no support credits used up last week since there was an ad. A couple of weeks ago we were at minus 11 credits (vs 5 needed each week to omit an ad, which is why there was an ad). I had said due to medical treatments I may just have to not publish an issue here and there since I don’t have energy to line up an advertiser, but one landed in my lap with an offer. I’m putting this issue together on Thursday to runFriday since I’ll be in the hospital for another surgery. To now, the surge in support amounts to 7 upgrades, 14(!) returning Premium subscribers, and combined contributions amounting to not-quite 4 more upgrades, -5 used for this week’s issue = 8 credits remaining. That means no ad next week, and if there are just two upgrades or equivalent contributions, no adthe week after either. Yay! Thank you so much for helping True to continue without ads.
Yellow Snow: Unexpected research results. [Premium Only]
Alpha Diet: Hope for those who are allergic to red meat. [Premium Only]
Better than a Gator: A man in St. Johns County, Fla., called the sheriff to help him with an intruder — in his bathroom. Whathappened next was recorded by one of the deputies’ bodycam: “Oh, that’s a buck!” he said. Indeed it was: a 3-point male deer, which they ushered to the door outside ...where it promptly splashed into the homeowner’s swimming pool. The deputies didn’t consider that Mission Accomplished: armed with their “wits and a pool brush,” the sheriff’s office said in an online post, they got it to climb out, and directed it through a gate into the wooded area behind the house. It was a “truedeer-in-the-headlights moment,” the agency said. (RC/WPEC West Palm Beach) ...For the deputies, not the deer.
Weekend Box Office Update
Malibu Residents Evacuate after Massive, Expanding Sinkhole Opens at Nicolas Cage’s House
Los Angeles Times headline
Did You Find an Error? Check the Errata Page for updates.
This Week’s Contributors: MS-Mike Straw, RC-Randy Cassingham.
Stories This Week were Written/Edited in Bangkok, Thailand. On Monday I had a PET scan to map any cancer spread. The results were excellent: no spread whatever. I was hoping to do another update to the blog post on the situation by now, but I had too much to do. Hopefully I can get to that in the next few days.
I Ran the Bus Accident story through ChatGPT for its “observations” once I was done with it. “The immediate reaction is the horrible irony: of all the bands whose bus could crush a man, it was Squeeze. That’s almost offensively perfect,” it replied (all emphasis from the original). “That tension is very much in True territory: reality has supplied a punchline that no decent person would deliberately arrange. And there’s a subtlerelement of how we react to grotesque coincidence. Nobody caused this because the band was named Squeeze; the coincidence means absolutely nothing. Yet humans are almost incapable of not noticing it. We are pattern-finding creatures, and sometimes the universe hands us a pattern so striking that it feels authored even though it plainly wasn’t.” (No really: it said “we”! It encourages anthropomorphization, which I won’t engage in myself, such as calling it “he”.)
“Finally, I think the band’s cancellation matters more than merely completing the narrative. It keeps the story humane. Their reaction establishes the proper emotional register before you spring the name. That gives the reader permission, in a sense, to appreciate the linguistic absurdity without the story itself appearing to make light of the man’s death.”
You didn’t mention the tagline, I said. “It identifies irony itself as the offender, rather than finding humor in the mechanic’s death,” it replied. “The ‘leave well enough alone’ has just enough exasperation to fit the absurdity without sounding flippant. Coming immediately after the group’s name reveal, the reader gets the awful connection first, then the tagline essentially says, Yes, I noticed it too — and wish reality hadn’t arranged it quite so perfectly.” I love how it“gets” my intentions so well: it’s almost spooky. But then, it is even more of a pattern-seeker, eh?
Another little irony? I wrote the next two paragraphs a few days before even starting on writing the bus story.
I Love Coincidences. When last week’s Premium went out, exactly two readers found they couldn’t find the previous issue, and sent a request for copies (a Premium-only service, even if — as in the case of one of these requests — they accidentally deleted it, or it “disappeared” from their inbox and they can’t find it.). Both sent their request within the same hour, though one is in Wales and the other is in the U.S. (thus very different time zones). That’s not the coincidence, sinceboth were probably triggered by receiving the newest issue.
This is: both of their surnames are Hart. It’s not the Twilight Zone, it’s just a silly coincidence. Another example: this weekend there was an order from someone named William, with a fairly unusual surname. Using the surname to find him in the database, two records came up. Looking at the other brought the discovery it was for a reader in Europe with the same unusual surname. His first name? Willem — the same name in his native language’s spelling. Finding these littlecoincidences really is enjoyable. It’s a benefit of being “detail oriented.”
My thought now? Maybe there’s a little Twilight Zone in this after all. Cue the music!
Ten Years Ago in True: Sure Enough, There Are Two Suspects — and be sure to read the Author’s Note under the story for a little bit of amusing tech history.
Last Week’s Story of the Week (you’re welcome to share it), about Coyote finally winning over RoadRunner, is posted on Telegram, Mastodon, Bluesky, Threads, Instagram,and/or Facebook, or grab from any of those to share elsewhere.
This Week’s Story of the Week, about the Cat in the Hat, is posted on Telegram, Mastodon, Bluesky, Threads, Instagram, and/or Facebook, or grab from any of those to share elsewhere.
This Week’s Sunday Reading: Sometimes I’m absolutely compelled to write a story (semi-NSFW text): Why My Job is So Fun from 2005.
No Honorary Unsubscribe this week: I did do a quick skim Sunday and didn’t find anyone, and Monday will be consumed by my hospital visit mentioned above.
- This Week’s “Interesting in the H.U. Archive”: Early Wright, the disk jockey who brought the blues to the Delta. From 12 December 1999, and the last of the (only!) 12 “best” H.U.s of that year. (Yes, forgot to put this in last week. Oops.)
- Honorary Unsubscribe Archive.
Basic Subscriptions to This is True are Free at https://thisistrue.com. All stories are completely rewritten using facts from the noted sources. This is True® (and Get Out of Hell Free® and Stella Awards®) are registered trademarks of ThisisTrue.Inc. Published weekly by ThisisTrue.Inc, PO Box 666, Ridgway CO 81432 USA (ISSN 1521-1932).
Copyright ©2026 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All broadcast, publication, retransmission to email lists, web site or social media posting, or any other copying or storage, in any medium, online or not, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission from the author. Manual forwarding by email to friends is allowed if 1) the text is forwarded in its entirety from the “Since 1994” line on top through the end of this paragraph and 2) No fee is charged. I request that you forward no more than three copies to any one person — after that, they should get their own free subscription. I appreciate people who report violations of my copyright.
To get True delivered to you every week, click here to open a subscribe form.