Story Archive

Ski-Don’t

A snowmobiler came out of the woods to get back to his car near Carbondale, Colo., to find that his pickup truck had been smashed up with a baseball bat. The unidentified 32-year-old man found a note on the windshield: “Sorryy anger isusesh.” Police pieced the situation together when they found two witnesses to the crime. They said they had been snowmobiling with the man, who had been “drinking all day,” and when they got back they heard “whacking sounds.” They saw the man smashing and kicking the truck because the way it was parked made it harder for him to leave. They “insisted that he leave a note to pay for the damage.” They also told police there was plenty of room for the man to pull out: all he had to do was back up a little. Police found the unidentified 53-year-old and arrested him for felony criminal mischief. (RC/Glenwood Springs Post Independent) ...One way to know you’re too drunk to drive: you slur your speech even while writing.