Story Archive

The Mouse that Roared

After a fire destroyed the garage of a house in Clyde, Ohio, investigators asked the homeowner how the fire started. Well, Verlin Sexton, 48, said, he merely went out to the garage to have a cigarette, saw smoke, ran back into the house to get some water, and when he got back it was burning out of control. Or, maybe, a pair of stereo speakers had burst into flames and he tried to kick it out, but couldn’t. And, well, maybe it was he was using an aerosol paint can and a lighter as a flame-thrower to try to kill a mouse. It’s unclear which of the several stories Ohio State Fire Marshal’s Investigator Frank Reitmeier decided was true, but the result was the same: Sexton has been charged with aggravated arson. (RC/Athens News-Messenger) ...OK, Reitmeier, I’ll show you this easy solution one time: “Official cause of fire: obliviocy.”