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They Were Drunk When They Wrote the Law

Canada’s federal government is tightening up the Criminal Code’s impaired driving statutes ahead of the country’s legalization of marijuana. But they plan to loosen one aspect: to clear up a “gray area” in the law, MPs plan to make it clear it’s not a crime to paddle a canoe while drunk. There were “numerous” such cases, particularly in Ontario, the Ottawa Citizen reports, “where police vigorously patrol the waterways” and insisted that “canoes, kayaks and even inflatable rafts all count under impaired driving laws.” The Criminal Code’s current impaired driving law applies to motorized vehicles and waterborne “vessels,” but it’s left unclear whether “motorized” applies to “vessels.” The suggested amended language makes it clear that drunk driving “does not include a vessel that is propelled exclusively by means of muscular power.” (RC/Ottawa Citizen) ...And when powered by a giant rubber band, the driver must prove he wound it up by hand.