Story Archive

A Wrinkled Suit

Jack and Patricia Mulkeen were asleep in their Yarmouth, Mass., home when their dog started barking at around 2:00 a.m. Patricia figured the dog saw a raccoon through the window, so she grabbed a flashlight and went to investigate. She sleeps in the buff, and didn’t bother to put any clothes on — why bother, for a raccoon? But when she got to her dining room, she spotted an intruder there. “I wasn’t frightened, I was just surprised,” she said. The man could see her, too: “Sorry, ma’am,” he said, and went out how he came in: via the cellar. Jack points out his wife is 91 years old, and not wearing a stitch. “That’d be enough to make him faint,” he said. “It’s a shock.” They called police, who quickly found Joseph M. Parent, 28, and charged him with breaking and entering with intent to commit a felony, and drug possession. (RC/WHDH Boston, Boston Globe) ...Millennials just don’t know the right thing to say in a situation like that. The polite response is “Sorry, sir.”