Story Archive

Amateur Hour II

“You people have done nothing but violate my due process rights,” complained Morgan Armstrong, 32, during his trial in New Port Richey, Fla., on armed-robbery charges. Armstrong claims his lawyer was conspiring with the prosecution, and thus decided to represent himself. When his alleged victim, Falguni Patel, lost consciousness on the witness stand, it was Armstrong who asked whether Patel was breathing. (A bailiff called an ambulance; the judge sent the jury away.) Patel was indeed breathing, having fainted when the prosecutor confronted her with the knife used in the holdup. A relative took off one of her sneakers and raised it to Patel’s face, intending the smell to rouse her. She claimed it had worked on Patel previously, but the tactic didn’t work this time. (AC/St. Petersburg Times) ...It’s not often someone is embarrassed in public about how badly their feet failed to stink.