Text with Jesus

I think readers will want a place to discuss one of the stories this week. Heck, I want to talk more about it too. I’ll start with the story itself.

Dial-a-Prophet

You can now text with Jesus. Really! Well, maybe not really-really: “Text with Jesus” is an A.I.-powered chatbot smartphone app trained in biblical concepts, introduced to a divided America where 30 percent of the population now says they have no religious affiliation — a number that’s been steadily rising. Stéphane Peter, the French-born Los Angeles-based software engineer behind the company, admits he is “not particularly religious at the moment,” but says “it’s been incredible to see how many want to try a conversation with biblical figures.” Not just Jesus: all 12 apostles are in the app, among other biblical figures such as Moses; he hopes to have “The Three Wise Men” added before Christmas. Plus, NBC added, “Premium users can also converse with Satan.” (RC/AFP, WFLD Chicago, NBC) …Users insist the connections are authentic because the bot never answers their actual questions.

I Had a Thought

A news-style graphic with the headline “Dial-a-Prophet” describes an AI-powered Christian chatbot called “Text with Jesus.” It includes a quote from a developer and a cartoon of a smartphone with a halo above it.
You’re welcome to share this copy on social media, or your own site. The small illustration is the app’s icon.

I fed the completed story into ChatGPT 5.1 — the very chatbot that runs TwJ — and asked it to come up with alternative tags, saying I was looking for funny, and it could go as dark as it wanted, just to see what it would suggest.

The result was 28 zingers that read like Tagline Challenge contest results. Certainly some sucked, but here are the ones I think were  the best, with reactions in (parens), as I might give when presenting Challenge results:

  • Critics say it’s perfect for people who want divine authority with none of the theological homework. (Spot on!)
  • Some users reportedly take the replies as gospel — proving once again that Americans will believe anything if it texts back.
  • Because nothing says “spiritual guidance” like an AI model answering questions between DoorDash orders. (Why some think A.I. is self-aware.)
  • In a country drifting from organized religion, maybe the only clergy we still trust are the ones who can be muted. (Bingo!)
  • For some users, it’s the first time they’ve felt personally addressed by divinity — which tells you everything about their previous clergy. (Megachurch televangelists, anyone?)
  • If you ever wanted proof that American spirituality is on life support, behold: people begging their phones to save their souls. (Dark!)
  • Users say it feels authentic because, like their favorite preachers, it charges for the premium revelations. (Snort!)
  • Peter may be “not particularly religious,” but he’s discovered the oldest theological truth: there’s always money in pretending God is on the line. (Awkward wording, but good concept.)
  • He built a one-man pantheon and now profits from dispensing synthetic salvation — which, historically, is how actual cults get started. (What’s the difference between a cult and a religion? 100 years. —Old aphorism.)
  • Ask who’s really speaking, and critics have a simple theory: when you text ‘Jesus,’ you get Peter — and when you text ‘Satan,’ you still get Peter, just after a long day. (Remarkably close to my first idea as I was writing the story.)
    And last…
  • The app promises divine wisdom; what most users get is a mirror — and they apparently don’t notice the difference.

I have experimented before with feeding stories to ChatGPT, both original sources and my own writing, but generally rolled my eyes over its attempts to sound like a real True story; I discussed this briefly in Ask Me Anything #003. This time, 11 of 28 were plausibly useful, though I still doubt it could summarize the story succinctly in a way that would lead to a great tagline. Still, that is significant progress in a very short time. I still believe it will be a very long time before True could be done well without a human at the helm.

Who Would You Text With?

Illustration of three historical figures as app icons: Jesus, Shakespeare, and Julius Caesar. Each has a speech bubble with three dots above their head.
Not just Jesus (and friends): there’s also Text with Authors (Shakespeare, Goethe, Shelley, Rabelais, Chaucer, and more), and Text with History — U.S. Founding Fathers and Presidents, scientists from Da Vinci to Curie, and more from history. (Google Play)

This isn’t the company’s only app (see illustration). But really, they are simply front ends to ChatGPT. If you have an A.I. account somewhere (free or otherwise), you can simply ask a question like, “What would Jesus say if he were here about an app called ‘Text with Jesus’? Answer as if you were Him.”

(I’m not gonna try it! You try it! Ooh, let’s get Mikey to try it! He’ll ask Jesus anything!)

But my real interest is, who would you want to chat with if given the chance?

I’d long wished to speak with many different historical figures. Example: I’d love to tell Mozart than we still play his music here in the 21st Century, and there are superb professional musicians who play it with perfection — just to hear his response to that.

The problem is, chatting with an A.I. version of any such historical figure holds no interest for me. I’d want them to be real, which of course makes the wish a fantasy, not something that I hold out any hope for. That’s why I wouldn’t bother asking the question I suggested Mikey might try.

A Quick Pivot

If you ever watched Inside the Actors Studio with James Lipton, he always ended his brilliant interviews with a questionnaire which culminated with, “If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?”

My own response, if Lipton ever was to ask me that (alas, he died in 2020 at 93), would be: “All of your questions will be answered.” That could well take close to eternity.

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15 Comments on “Text with Jesus

  1. I would want to chat with Pauli Murray.

    And oh, how I want some really good hackers to mess with TwJ and create interesting theology!

    You want a new cult?! Because that’s how you get new cults. 😉 -rc

    Reply
  2. I appreciated this even more when I saw the story that immediately preceded it in the Premium version was also about using ChatGPT. Like almost every tool, ChatGPT can be used in many different ways.

    As someone who has been reading True for over 30 years, I want to also plug the Premium upgrade. Randy can confirm, but I believe that if you are not already a Premium subscriber, you can request that your Premium upgrade start with Premium TRUE 1640. That will let you see the story I referenced.

    Yes: you can actually ask for an upgrade to start at any time. E.g., pay for 2 years and ask for your first issue to be from a year ago. The story Hyman is referring to did make it to the free edition. -rc

    Reply
    • I also have been receiving Randy’s “premium revelations” (as ChatGPT might describe them) for many years now. Hallelujah!

      Well… only for 28-1/2 years so far, Gary. (Thanks!) -rc

      Reply
    • Darn. I wasn’t aware. My premium subscription ran out Oct 16. I just renewed, I didn’t realize I could have backdated it a few weeks and got the newsletters I missed. Oh well, live and learn.

      It’s never too late. I’ll go find it and make the adjustments. -rc

      Reply
  3. I guess I am simple. I would want to text with my father. There are a handful of other relatives that I would also enjoy connecting with, a few of whom I never met. If push came to shove and I HAD to choose a well-known person I think I would chat with Anne Frank. I am still thinking on it. This is an intriguing concept.

    Exactly the sort of thought-provocation I was thinking of when I mentioned this page in the newsletter. -rc

    Reply
  4. “My own response, if Lipton ever was to ask me that (alas, he died in 2020 at 93), would be: “All of your questions will be answered.” That could well take close to eternity.”

    That’s what Purgatory is quite literally for. And you’d better hope that Purgatory exists — because I intend to make it to Heaven and if purgatory doesn’t exist I’m going to turn it into Hell.

    Reply
  5. I have always wanted to chat with Ben Franklin. I think he would be fascinated with the advances in science and would be quick to take in how things work with just a brief explanation. Probably he would love to hear how history played out over the last 250 years as well.

    Yes, that would be a great conversation! -rc

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    • Just yesterday, I was pondering “What would Benjamin Franklin have to say?” That salty dog, what does he have to say about today’s world?? Plenty of source material to draw from.

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  6. Considering that not all 12 apostles have much written that could be used for training the AI and the wise men even less, this would all be AI hallucinations for them.

    Good point. But really, IMO it’s all pretty much going to be hallucination, which is why it provides no interest to me. I’ve been of that opinion ever since ‘Star Trek’ (TNG) starting bringing historical figures to life in the Holodeck to ask them questions. -rc

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  7. Plot twist: the French-made chatbot only works 35 hours a week, takes 11 weeks of vacation each year and goes on strike every other month.

    Reply
    • The US one works 60 hours a week but is only paid for 40, only takes 4 days of its 3 weeks of vacation and has been indoctrinated to think if it only works a bit harder it will become a billionaire.

      Wicked! And not a hallucination…. -rc

      Reply
  8. This reminds me of the hulu show Devis where they can use computing to “see” in the past.

    Basically they’ve got digital monkeys at a typewriter typing all possibilities of the past but eliminated most of the bad “noise” so can easily know what to “see”.

    Me, I’m satisfied with the Jewish heritage tunnel tour in Jerusalem which takes you street level to the same cobblestones as back then. Most authentic Christian landmark I know of.

    Reply
  9. I have also thought about talking to the great musicians of the past but I would want to play some Beethoven for Bach to see what he thought or play some Stravinsky or jazz for Beethoven. I would also love to hear their thoughts on modern performances of their music. Chopin and Beethoven would be great here since they both wanted more powerful pianos.

    As for the holodeck, I agree on most of it but at least they had the good sense to bring in Stephen Hawking to play himself playing poker with Data, “Einstein” and “Newton”. At least we got to see how one person thinks an AI would chat with humans (don’t get me started on “Her”).

    Reply

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