Story Archive

Not Black or White

Emergency responders are bracing themselves for an upswing in emergency calls relating to sex play gone wrong, now that the movie Fifty Shades of Grey has been released. Such an upswing would correspond to a previous surge that occurred when the books became popular. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission reports 83 percent of the cases involved, as they delicately put it, “foreign body removals” — in men more than women — and 25 percent involve injuries severe enough to require specialized care and/or hospital admission, not just E.R. visits. Indeed, firefighters and medics in London, England, say they’ve seen many cases of people trapped in handcuffs since the books came out. “We hope film-goers will use common sense and avoid leaving themselves red faced,” said London fire brigade Third Officer, Dave Brown. London fire crews are now dispatched to about 40 sex-related calls per month, and not just for handcuffs and vacuum cleaners: incidents have even involved toasters. (RC/Washington Post, CNN) ...Now listen very carefully: do NOT put the candle back!