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Pepperoni Face

According to police reports, an unidentified woman was asked for I.D. to get into a joint in Amherst, Mass., called the Monkey Bar. The woman presented a slice of pizza to the bouncer, who said that wouldn’t get her through the door. She responded by slapping him, and she was issued a trespass notice by the police. The bouncer wasn’t hurt. “They have to have really thick skin, so this was a comparatively entertaining incident,” said bar owner Rasif Rafiq. “We wish her the best with continuing her education. We’ve all had nights in college we regret.” The bar also released a statement on their Facebook page: “Despite some popular misconceptions, Monkey Bar does not currently accept Antonio’s pizza as a valid form of I.D. Sorry for the inconvenience.” And to respond to “everybody that’s asking,” a follow-up comment read, “It was a tortellini slice.” (MS/Springfield Republican) ...To get into this club, you really need to be from the upper crust.