Why Why Why Florida?!

Is Everyone in Florida Crazy?! The short answer: no, even if this week’s issue is all-Florida-based stories. The longer answer: read on.

I’ve said many times I could probably do an all-Florida issue every month. This week we went ahead and did just that. Why now?

A few weeks ago, Frank, a 16-year Premium subscriber in Arizona, wrote, “Don’t know how you manage to whittle hours of research and probably thousands of stories into each issue but, as always, I am certain that you are appreciated. Add my name to the hundreds (thousands?) of grateful subscribers. I did notice that the Sunshine State was liberally represented in today’s issue, and was just a bit curious about how or why that is. They don’t have the most people; their big cities are not on par with New York, LA or Chicago, and yet it seems that in every issue, one or more of the stories are set in Florida. Are they just that dumb or what?”

The Polk County Sheriff’s Office actually illustrated a stupid Florida Man story: he “escaped” from a Walmart on a 2 mph electric shopping cart. From this week’s issue. (PCSO)

I asked him to hold on a bit for my reply, since the long answer takes a bit to explain.

Though yes, Florida is apparently over-represented in True — and has been since the beginning. (See, for instance, a reader’s tally from 2011.

Still, don’t make a mistake here: everywhere you find large groups of people you’ll find some dumb ones (which I prefer to refer to with the True term “obliviots,” since to me that implies a greater likelihood of choice being involved, where “stupid” doesn’t seem to). But there are also smart people there, including some geniuses. Yes, even in Florida.

So then the question has to be, does Florida have more obliviots per capita than, say, Arizona, another famously warm, retiree-attracting state?

Well, that’s really hard to say. It seems so, but appearances can be deceiving since there are certainly other factors at play. It’s the sort of thing some PhD candidate could study for her thesis. Indeed one self-described “historian” came up with a “theory” about Florida Man …which I tore apart in my blog a few years ago.

What “other factors”? Florida has a thriving news industry, perhaps healthier than any other state’s, in part because it has the second-highest percentage of population of 65 years and above folks (21.3 percent, as of the 2020 census. Source). Maine is higher, at 21.8 percent; Arizona comes in 12th, at 18.5 percent. The point: older folks are much more likely to subscribe to newspapers, and to watch the news.

Plus, Florida has very strict Open Records laws, which makes it much easier for news organizations to get information on criminal acts than in other states and probably countries, and what’s more reliably entertaining than hearing about obliviotic criminals doing stupid things?

In addition, Florida has a large population (Number 3 in the U.S. with an estimated 22.6 million, as of July 2023; California is first, Texas is second. Arizona’s population is 7.4 million (14th largest). Source).

It all adds up to Florida having plenty of criminals, a large number of news outlets with lots of pages (and minutes of airtime) to fill, and easy access to police records.

So the Forehead Slapper Could Well Be, Florida Man (and Woman) might not be unusual: there could be, proportionally, just as many obliviots in other states (and countries!) doing just as many stupid things per capita as people in Florida, but we just don’t know about them because of a lack of strength in the news industry, lack of access to police records, and (yep!) “other factors.”

Scary thought, ain’t it?

Still, Florida is the only place that could be the location for every story in an entire issue — monthly, if I was inclined to do so! I think I’ve only done it once before. Don’t complain too much, Floridians, or I might do it again before I retire!

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8 Comments on “Why Why Why Florida?!

  1. Retire?? Please say it ain’t so Randy!

    I’ve been saying all along that I doubt I’ll go past 35 years. Not sure when, exactly. -rc

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  2. The obvious (facetious) answer to the title:
    “Why?? Florida.”

    As you’ve said, there are lots of reasons we hear more about them. Same reasons crime stories from NYC abounded in the 70s & 80s (“If it bleeds, it leads.”) and so many action dramas were set in LA (took a long time for the studios to invest in areas outside of LA. Mostly through local tax breaks to entice them to NYC, Georgia, etc).

    Hope you got a chance to see some local landmarks near Belfast before you left (will leave? not sure of exact timing based on this week’s issue.) The Giant’s Causeway and the Carrick-a Rede Bridge were family favorites on multiple trips. The Bushmill’s Distillery isn’t bad either.

    Bon Voyage!

    We did the touristy stuff here 5 years ago. Now it’s “living like a local.” -rc

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  3. As a woman living full time in Florida, I have no problem with issues solely devoted to Florida Man and Florida Woman. Obliviots ought to always be called out where ever they are. Keep on keepin’ on, Randy!

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  4. “…there could be, proportionally, just as many obliviots in other states”

    A true OMG moment. Followed by NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    Million dollar question will any obliviots find their way onto the boat. Let’s hope it’s nothing but Randy’s!

    It’ll never happen: the ship will be populated by all kinds (though obviously a bit more wealthy than average): dumb, smart; educated, not; introvert, extrovert; etc., and everything in between. And that’s generally OK: it makes things more interesting. Just, hopefully, many fewer criminals than average! -rc

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  5. Mark from Florida (the same one who did that 2011 tally) here again.

    Florida law enforcement will readily provide arrest reports to media, sometimes without even being asked, where in many other states it might take arduous effort to get the same access. While the transparency is admirable, it does present one important drawback: the arrest report represents only the law enforcement agency’s perception of the facts, which has not been independently vetted nor proven in court. So if that low-hanging fruit is the media’s only source, it can be problematic.

    Still, if “True’s mission is to provoke thought with examples of what happens when we don’t think, and when we do”, then Florida will be happy to carry more than its weight provoking those thoughts (and facepalms and head-shakes). Rather than be ashamed at the volume of my fellow residents’ obliviocy, I’ll be proud to live in a state so ready to tell us all about it.

    P.S. I have to commend your encyclopedic knowledge of not only your 30-year history of stories but also your blogs and reader comments. I’m sure you have a well-organized archive for yourself, but you still have to know what to search for!

    My memory is getting muddier since there are just so MANY stories now. And even when I do remember them (or a comment), you hit the nail on the head: knowing what to search for. Sometimes I know for sure it’s there and still can’t find it, but at least I usually do! -rc

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  6. I lived in Florida for several years, and heard many “Florida Man” type stories from friends and co-workers. While I don’t know all the reasons for the difference between Florida and everywhere else, I always figured it was a combination of heat, humidity, eccentric residents and the rapid growth of the population attracting an unusual mix of new residents. Where else could a guy be amused by scaring his friends and acquaintances with his pet King Snake for three years, only to find out it was really a Coral Snake?

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  7. Actually, I enjoy all of the Florida Man stories (and women). If the reason IS because Florida’s open laws are stronger, then I say, “great.” As I’ve traveled over the years I have told many people the thing about the U.S. is this: we make public all of our flaws, warts and everything else. Along with our achievements. If other countries think theirs is so much better than ours, apply the “Statue of Liberty test.” What they miss is that most other countries won’t admit faults so publicly. Bottom line — if Florida is among the most American of states, I can live with that.

    Follow up … in these days of hyphenated identities, I have chosen to label myself as a Mountaineer-Cracker. About Florida Man I say, I figure a hillbilly from West Virginia ain’t got much to lose worryin’ about moving to Florida and becoming a Florida Man!

    (P.S. Randy, if that ship docks in Florida, I’d like to know early enough in advance to see if I can make it to that port to say “hi” in person!!)

    I’m sure we will, but it’ll be a few years. -rc

    Reply

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