Story Archive

Batteries Not Included

A woman stopped in the Intimate Treasures store, an “adult” boutique in Crestview, Fla., browsed the merchandise for a bit, and then asked about whether there were any jobs available at the store. She left her name, address, and phone number for the manager, and left. The manager noticed that a “female sex toy” was missing and reviewed security camera footage. Sure enough, the woman had been at the display and was recorded “manipulating the front of her pants and shirt, in an action consistent with concealing the device within her pants,” the responding officer wrote in his report. The officer then confronted the unnamed woman. “After viewing the video footage, the defendant retrieved the stolen device, which had been used and was no longer in a condition to be returned to the business,” the officer reported. “As the defendant viewed her actions, she exclaimed in disbelief, ‘Oh my God. Look at what I’m doing. Oh my God. I’m gonna cry.” The 23-year-old woman said she was “very drunk” at the time and didn’t remember the incident. She was charged with theft. (RC/Northwest Florida Daily News) ...Very suspicious: she remembers being drunk?