Story Archive

Imaginary Loser

A trash truck operator in Gainesville, Fla., was unloading trash from dumpsters at an apartment complex when he was confronted by a man with a knife who demanded he get out of his truck. Naturally, the driver refused and moved on, but the man caught up with him again, this time armed with a can of pepper spray, which he emptied into the truck’s air intake. The driver called for help. The man told sheriff’s deputies he was trying to rescue his girlfriend from the truck — his imaginary girlfriend. Walter Welch, 75, was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, property damage, and — yep! — cocaine possession. No girlfriends were found. (RC/Gainesville Sun) ...Which has likely been the case for him for a long, long time.
Original Publication Date: 24 May 2015
This story is in True’s book collections, in Volume 21.

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