Or, when resolving a police standoff depends on a can of Pepsi. No, really.
It’s not even a Florida Man story! Let’s start with the story which ended this week’s issue before exploring some unexpected analysis:
Not a Coke Head
When Jenny Obert took her dog for a walk outside her apartment building in Thunder Bay, Ont., Canada, she saw multiple police officers arriving, so she thought she had better get back inside. Indeed, police ended up in a standoff with a wanted man, who was holed up in his own apartment just down the hall from her. “This went on for over five hours and I could hear them,” she said. “The guy was saying he would give up if they gave him a can of Pepsi.” An officer promised he would get the man a Pepsi if he came out, but the man insisted on getting the Pepsi first. Obert checked her fridge. “There was one cold one left,” she said, so she cracked open her door and held it out. An officer grabbed it and provided it to the fugitive, who surrendered less than 60 seconds later. Once the unnamed man was whisked off to jail, “the SWAT team came back,” she said, “to say, ‘Thank you. You de-escalated that situation in one minute’.” (RC/Thunder Bay Newswatch) …Crisis managers rarely consider refrigerator inventory.
“Absurdist”
Not Every Week, but sometimes, especially when I finish my writing early 
, I paste a story into cGPT to ask it for feedback on a tagline. I find its “psychological evaluation” (my term for it) to be fascinating, and its analysis of the tag on this story is a good example.
I’m also amused that it analyzes why the humor works in very specific ways — it “knows” that True is supposed to be entertaining as well as thought-provoking. When I pasted in the completed story to ask for its “observations,” the usual term I use in my prompts, I commented that my tag is “absurdist, yet sets up unexpected framing.”
Here’s its response, verbatim (emphasis from the original):
It works because it compresses the whole story into a single blind spot. You’re pointing at scope blindness: trained responders are operating at the level of tactics, negotiation protocols, perimeter control — while the actual solution is sitting one door away in a fridge. The line reframes “crisis management” as something that can miss the smallest, most literal requirement.
A few observations about why your angle lands:
- Mismatch of scale: “Crisis managers” evokes high-level expertise; “refrigerator inventory” is domestic, trivial, almost beneath notice. That contrast carries the humor.
- Implicit critique without saying it: you’re not accusing them of incompetence, just of not thinking that way. It’s observational rather than scolding.
- Specificity does the work: “refrigerator inventory” is oddly precise, which makes it feel both absurd and accurate at the same time.
- Reversal of expected competence: the professionals manage the crisis, but the civilian manages the solution.
If anything, the line leans slightly toward abstraction (“crisis managers”) rather than the concrete scene. That’s not wrong — it gives it that broader, aphoristic feel — but it shifts it a bit from this event to a general principle. That’s likely intentional, given your style.
Observing Its Observations
“Observational” and “oddly precise.” Indeed intentional, and right in line with my style. Which is interesting, because sometimes it “criticizes” the tags as “observational, not humorous.” Taglines aren’t always meant to be humorous, but it does fairly often miss the humor when it’s particularly subtle …which is why I pointed out this one was “absurdist.”
And now that I’m reflecting on all of this, isn’t asking a machine for its analysis pretty absurd in itself?!
Well, that’s the world we live in now.
– – –
Bad link? Broken image? Other problem on this page? Please Let Me Know using the Help button in the lower right, and thanks.
This page is an example of my style of “Thought-Provoking Entertainment”. This is True is an email newsletter that uses “weird news” as a vehicle to explore the human condition in an entertaining way. If that sounds good, click here to open a subscribe form.
To really support This is True, you’re invited to sign up for a subscription to the much-expanded Premium edition.
It is both fascinating and somewhat frightening to see what we have created with these AI models. It will be very interesting to see what it all looks like in 2030 as things begin to shake out between now and then.
I just hope the police buy her a 12-pack to replace the can she gave them.
Well since I was the one who suggested the story to Randy, I will keep watching for any updates, 12 pack or more!
—
Please DO let us know of any updates! -rc
Thank you for mentioning it. I appreciate it. It’s not a nice feeling to feel unsafe in your own apartment.
The tactical team. I came to my door and they all shook my hand and said, thank you for helping. To be honest, it was a very frightening and scary experience for me. I was glad it ended peacefully.
—
I’m glad you found this page so you could read the story. -rc
Wow, that seems to be to be a very insightful analysis. I’m impressed.
We can all only hope that True was used to train the AI’s and that they have picked up a few important lessons from it along the way. I know I sure have.
—
I’m gratified that you feel like you have learned good things. Though I’d be surprised if any LLMs have been trained on TRUE’s text. -rc
This is actually more in response to Randy’s reply to your comment than to the comment itself — given the number of LLMs out there and their known predilection for hoovering up vast swathes of copyrighted material, I’d be considerably more surprised if none of them had managed to grab any of it.
—
Could be, but even though I’m a creator through and through, it doesn’t really even irritate me. We all learn by reading and studying the work of others. -rc