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Now You Know Why They Call Him Bop-Bop-Bop

He’s been featured in This is True before, and Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop is back-back-back. This time he’s accused of assaulting police officers at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash. Zopittybop-bop-bop was chased down by a campus police officer after some alleged vandalism, and had to be tackled; in response, Zopittybop-bop-bop allegedly bit the officer’s finger, hit him in the head, tried to stab him with a pen, and tried to grab the officer’s gun. To keep him from grabbing his gun, the officer stepped away, and Zopittybop-bop-bop went on the attack, so the officer tased him — but Zopittybop-bop-bop was still able to run away. That’s when a Thurston County Sheriff’s deputy picked up the chase. Zopittybop-bop-bop was tased again, but he broke the wires and kept running, and allegedly pelted the deputy with rocks. Another deputy came to his aid, and again tased Zopittybop-bop-bop, and got him handcuffed. Zopittybop-bop-bop is charged with multiple counts of assault, malicious mischief, and malicious harassment. Prosecutors aren’t sure the 34-year-old man’s 2011 name change is legal, so they’re calling him by his birth name, Jeffrey Drew Wilschke. (RC/Olympia Olympian) ...New law in Washington: three bops and you’re out.
Author’s Note: Beezow’s prior appearances are in Volume 18 (“Tutti Frutti (Aw-Rooty)”) and Volume 19 (“Repeat Customer Too”). Then nothing: I’m guessing he’s in prison.
Original Publication Date: 07 February 2016
This story is in True’s book collections, in Volume 22.

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I believe humanity is held back by the lack of thinking. I provoke thought with examples of what happens when we don’t think, and when we do. This is True is my primary method: stories like this come out every week by email, and basic subscriptions are free. Click here for a subscribe form.

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