Story Archive

Petty Crime

Officials at the U.S. Marine Corps’ Camp Pendleton in San Diego County, Calif., have issued a statement disavowing a clever SitRep — Situation Report — that someone wrote in the style of the real thing. “I called police records,” confirms a base public affairs officer, 1st. Lt. Savannah Frank, “and while they were highly entertained, they confirmed it is absolutely a hoax.” The report: that a drunk Navy Chief Petty Officer man had left a bar drunk, and couldn’t drive home due to a breathalyser interlock device on his car. In desperation, he “captured a raccoon” and made it blow into the interlock device so he could start his car. He discarded the animal onto the car’s floor when it went unconscious from him squeezing the air out of it, but it later revived “and began to attack the suspect while driving,” causing him to crash. The story quickly went viral online, but it was too good to be true. “Not karma, fiction,” the local newspaper concluded. (RC/San Diego Union-Tribune) ...Yeah, but on the Internet, facts rarely get in the way of a good story.
Original Publication Date: 04 October 2015
This story is in True’s book collections, in Volume 22.

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