Story Archive

Slitherin

A Washington State Trooper checking out a suspicious vehicle in Parkland called for backup when the driver got out of the vehicle “waving around” an AK-47 rifle and a pistol. As a squadron of troopers and sheriff’s deputies arrived, the man put his guns back in the car, and as he was ordered to the ground at gunpoint, he started yelling that President Donald Trump had called to warn him about “the lizard people,” and he needed to fight them off because the “alpha dragon” had taken his family hostage. Also, he was “making a scene” to attract reporters so “his story could be documented for history.” Sure he had been snorting meth, but only to “lose weight,” he told officers, assuring them that “the meth doesn’t make me crazy, man,” and that “the lizard people are real!” A search of his car found several magazines for the rifle loaded with 172 rounds, and the pistol was loaded too. The unnamed 55-year-old was taken to a hospital for a mental evaluation. (RC/KOMO Seattle) ...And his story is hereby documented for history.