Story Archive

The ABCs of DUI

A man pulled over in Niceville, Fla., on suspicion of drunk driving admitted to the officer he had “a sip” of beer, but the reason she could smell it in his car was because he spilled it, he claimed. The officer found a half-empty can of beer, and the unnamed 20-year-old man agreed to be tested for drunkenness. “I’ll do sobriety tests,” he told her. “I’ll do whatever the [expletive] you want: I cannot afford a ticket.” He failed the tests, at one point claiming, “I seriously don’t know the [expletive] alphabet.” The man knew his numbers, though: he could count to 25, though he had to pause to think between 12 and 13. He was arrested and charged with DUI. (RC/Northwest Florida Daily News) ...Maybe the judge can use that, “pausing” the guy’s license for 12-13 months.