Story Archive

Dumbass of the Week #1149

Police and firefighters responded to a vehicle on fire in La Crosse, Wisc. At the scene, an officer spoke to Christopher Johnson, 35, who was drinking a beer on his porch directly in front of the vehicle. According to police reports, Johnson said he had never seen the car, didn’t know what had happened, and wasn’t going to tell the officer anything; then he went inside. The reports say later the officer knocked on Johnson’s door, and when he answered he asked whether he could go to jail for setting something on fire. When his girlfriend came into the room, he told her, police say, “I set the car on fire.” According to the car’s owner, he had given Johnson’s girlfriend a ride home from a bar, but he’d had too much to drink and left the car behind the house. The man claimed he’d never met the couple. Johnson’s girlfriend said Johnson came home and accused her of cheating, then went outside. Johnson’s blood alcohol level was allegedly 0.264 percent, and he was arrested and charged with arson, disorderly conduct, and misdemeanor battery. (MS/La Crosse Tribune) ...Alcohol: liquid courage and brain drain all in one.