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Early Morning Eye-Opener II

Police in Aspen, Colo., were summoned to a three-storey condo complex at 5:47 a.m. on a report of a man screaming for help, which “woke up pretty much the entire complex,” Aspen police officer Seth DelGrasso said. DelGrasso found a 34-year-old man wearing a swimsuit who said he had been drinking and partying in the ground-floor hot tub, and “The next thing he knew he was up on the roof and didn’t know how he got there,” DelGrasso said. The temperature: about 8 degrees (–13C). Someone on the top floor rescued the man by letting him climb down onto their balcony, and bringing him inside. The unidentified man, an Australian, told DelGrasso, “We don’t have cold like this in Australia.” (RC/Aspen Times) ...Hey, mate: we have more than enough obliviots like you in America.
Original Publication Date: 10 January 2016
This story is in True’s book collections, in Volume 22.

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