OK, I admit it: I knew the tagline on a story this week would make a lot of readers squirm. I have the story — and the guy’s mug shot — plus some reader comments. The story is from True’s 14 August 2011 issue:
Picky, Picky, Picky
Customers at a McDonald’s restaurant in Cape Coral, Fla., were getting irate because for at least 10 minutes, a man standing by the door was popping pimples on his back. An off-duty police officer asked him to leave. When the man discovered he was being addressed by a cop, he ran, just as an on-duty officer arrived to investigate reports of a disturbance. The cops chased down Owen Lemire Kato, 23, and found he had a warrant out for his arrest. That gave them a solid reason to arrest him, and a search revealed drug paraphernalia. He was also charged with resisting arrest, and giving a false name to officers. (RC/Fort Myers News-Press) …And with revealing the main ingredient of “secret sauce”.
The Mug Shot
One Thing Still Puzzles Me
OK, my Columbo Moment: How was he able to reach pimples on his back? Sure, a young guy could reach at least some of them, but ten minutes’ worth?
Here’s the “lede” (newspaper jargon for the “lead paragraph” on a news story; they spell it differently to make sure it’s never mistaken for the metal, “lead” — which is what printer’s type used to be made out of — nor for the current typesetting term, “leading”) — the lede of the local newspaper’s story I used as my source:
A Port Charlotte man was arrested by Cape Coral police Monday after an incident at McDonald’s in which he allegedly repulsed customers by squeezing pimples on his back.
Pretty clear, isn’t it? That’s reinforced farther down, where they add:
…after standing near the north entrance for more than 10 minutes and attracting the ire of customers, who had complained someone was popping pimples on his back, according to a police report.
Case closed: the guy’s a contortionist, right? But wait! Then there’s this detail:
While searching him, officers reportedly found a syringe in his pocket, which Kato’s girlfriend said he used to inject “blues,” or Oxycontin.
(Gosh: the guy just might be a druggie? Who could have ever guessed such a thing?!)
But wait: his girlfriend was there? (Wait: he has a girlfriend? Just more proof that “there’s someone for everyone”!) So might it be that his girlfriend was popping his pimples at the restaurant, in public, in front of other customers? (Oh, don’t retch: this page is titled “Eww Factor” after all!)
Well, maybe she was, but that’s not what the source story says, so I went with what it actually said in my write-up.
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