Story Archive

Horrible Chemicals

Officers were dispatched to a home in Long Beach, Calif., after receiving a report of a sign posted at a house that a passerby found to be “alarming and a threat to the community.” The scary terrorist threat on the sign: “Sometime around midday, Temple & 3rd is declared a war zone. We will not care if you are unarmed. 🙂 If you enter the area you may be exposed to large amounts of dihydrogen monoxide. It would be better if you came prepared. Safety third!!” Dihydrogen monoxide, of course, refers to a molecule made of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom — H2O — also known as water. Police cited the homeowner, Tammy Hall, for posting “illegal signage,” but did not take her into custody. “My kids always look forward to one really big water fight where we just call out all our friends; they put on war paint and everything for it,” Hall said. “That won’t stop. I just won’t put out warning signs with chemical compounds on it. I’m just glad we didn’t list the side effects of dihydrogen monoxide — that would’ve made it worse.” (MS/Long Beach Post) ...Over 840,000 people die every year from dihydrogen monoxide related causes. But don’t warn your friends!