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Jesus Wasn’t Her Co-pilot

“At first I thought it was a dream, because I had handcuffs on. I was in my habit. I’m a nun.” But it was no dream: Sister Kimberly Miller, who teaches theology at Little Flower Catholic High School in Philadelphia, Pa., was under arrest. She doesn’t know how she ended up in Washington Township, N.J., and says she took a sleeping pill with “a glass of wine” and went to bed at St. Veronica’s convent. She says she remembers nothing until she woke up in handcuffs, at least 20 miles away from the convent. Police were called at 3:00 a.m. after Sr. Miller, 41, allegedly crashed into a building, and drove away. Her blood alcohol content was measured at .16 percent, double the level considered to be drunk driving. Meanwhile, Pennsylvania State Police troopers have arrested Agnes Pennino, 78, a nun from the Saints Cyril and Methodius Convent in Danville, after she allegedly shoplifted $23 worth of snacks, coffee, soap, and shampoo from a store. The crime was caught on security camera, and appeared to be premeditated: the sister brought shopping bags in her purse, and then left through a door that’s not normally used as an exit. “I was shocked,” the store’s manager said. “I couldn’t believe it that a nun would actually do something like that.” (RC/Philadelphia Inquirer, WNEP Scranton) ...We all hate to see nuns developing such bad habits.
Original Publication Date: 17 April 2016
This story is in True’s book collections, in Volume 22.

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