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Family Feud

Sometimes there’s a story that I “have” to publish, even though I know it just won’t make it past the spam filters.

This is one such story, even though there’s nothing truly “dirty” about it.

But even if I can’t get it through spam filters, I can certainly post it on my web site, so this is an “extra” story (with the accompanying headline that brought my attention to the story in the first place), from the week of 5 September 2010:

This is Serious!

There has been a development in a year-old murder case in Potter Township, Pa. The victim: Samuel S. Boob, 29. The alleged getaway driver has been arrested, Kermit Butts, 26. Police say Butts helped plan the Boob killing, and drove the gunman, Ronald Heichel, to and from the scene at Boob’s house, where Boob was murdered in the garage of his Tusseyville Road home with his own shotgun. Investigators say Boob’s wife, Mirinda Boob, wanted her husband killed because, she says, he “abuses her.” Police say the motive was Boob’s life insurance proceeds. “There is a gag order in the case,” the local newspaper notes, “preventing any of the parties involved from speaking publicly.” (Centre Daily Times) …Mainly because none of them can do so without giggling.


A local TV station reported the developments with:
Butts Arrested in Boob Murder Case
WTAJ Altoona headline


There are actually two places called Potter Township in Pennsylvania. One is in Beaver County (yes, really) — but this is the one in Centre County.

Mug Shots? Why Certainly!

The Players
Mirinda Boob Mug Shot

Mirinda Boob

Ronald Heichel Mug Shot

Ronald Heichel

Kermit Butts Mug Shot

Kermit Butts

The Victim
Samuel Boob
The best photo I could find of Samuel Boob.

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29 Responses to Family Feud

  1. Maurizio - London September 6, 2010 at 12:17 pm #

    “Randy” site can’t help talking about boobs and butts.

    Your British readers won’t be surprised….

  2. Cory, Topeka, Kansas September 6, 2010 at 12:52 pm #

    Sad stories don’t go over so sadly with such silly names. Parents take heed!

    Of course, these are family names. As far as given names, Kermit may be odd, but in this case it certainly beats Seymour. -rc

  3. Mike from Dallas September 6, 2010 at 1:22 pm #

    Unrelated to the story, but it’s funny how certain words (names?) trigger spam filters. Like the time I was on the beach when some muscle-bound idiot was showing off by lifting a well-endowed, bikini-clad beauty up on each bicep. And a friend exclaimed, “Wow, look at the broads on that boob!”

  4. Wally from Kansas September 7, 2010 at 7:05 am #

    Detectives report that Butts cracked under interrogation.

  5. Mark - Flint, MI September 7, 2010 at 8:44 am #

    Randy, I can’t stop laughing. I’ll show this to the wife tonight. She’ll get a kick out of it. She likes “butt” jokes and I like “boobs”.

  6. Lisa from day U.P. of Michigan, 'eh September 7, 2010 at 11:20 am #

    Ok ok, I know someone beat me with a cracked joke, but I still have to do it, it’s my inner twelve-year-old boy talking:

    “Authorities suspect Mr. Butts may have been on crack during the Boob job.”

    Ba-dum-TISS

  7. Lorrie, Kailua, Oahu September 7, 2010 at 5:12 pm #

    This story had me cringing… very similar reaction I have to those reality shows with mentally challenged people. Still, it did not stop me from reading the entire story…why??? I feel so dirty. ;0) Thanks for the smiles!

  8. Phil, San Antonio, Texas, USA September 8, 2010 at 4:53 pm #

    Too bad Ronald’s last name wasn’t Beaver or something similar to complete the trifecta.

  9. Chris, Pueblo September 10, 2010 at 10:28 pm #

    I feel so dirty, so ashamed, but the shame of it all, is that she is really a very good looking Boob.

  10. Pierre, Ontario, Canada September 10, 2010 at 10:28 pm #

    I think that if just about anyone else except (but?) Randy had posted this story, I would have said to myself: “Self, someone has a great imagination, this story is fake.”

    But, as my late friend Sherlock told me: “Pierre, there are more real, true, and strange things in the world than there are in all of fiction.” (Well, OK, that is not an exact quote. But I bet 50 quatloos, RC will either know or quickly find exact one.)

    As I’ve often said: “Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense.” Close enough. -rc

  11. Phil, W. Wales UK September 11, 2010 at 12:13 am #

    Hey, namesake in San Antonio! Now you know what to call your Heichel when in polite company.

  12. Ann Illinois September 11, 2010 at 12:29 am #

    I was intrigued when I saw Randy’s comments on it triggering spam filters. I wasn’t sure what to expect, however I quickly learned it was a mistake to be drinking a soda while reading it! I had to clean my computer screen because I laughed so hard! It could have been worse someone could have been named Dick.

  13. John, Blaxland, Australia September 11, 2010 at 1:01 am #

    Got to say Mr Boob looks like a mix of the two male suspects….

  14. david from Pa September 11, 2010 at 6:26 am #

    Well… Potter Township is in Beaver County. So: Butt, kills Boob in Beaver

    I guess those Boobs are no longer traveling in pairs.

  15. eileen in san jose, ca September 11, 2010 at 10:16 am #

    If there are reasons to change surnames, then certainly this qualifies. And…the wife, it seems, actually changed her name to “Boob.” Normally, it is optional to change one’s name upon marriage. I don’t care how much I loved the guy, there ARE limits!

    Just imagine what prison mates will do with these idiots!

  16. Dandapani, FL September 12, 2010 at 12:23 pm #

    The conspirators called their little caper the…. wait for it…. The Boob Job.

  17. Mark, Upstate NY September 13, 2010 at 12:04 am #

    True story…my ex-aunt married a guy whose last name was Beaver. So her name was Barb Beaver aka Barbi Beaver.

    Imagine if she was involved in this caper. hehehe

  18. Dante, Ohio September 13, 2010 at 6:21 am #

    Boobs and Butts! Now that was MADE to make headlines – the names themselves are a crime!

  19. Carey FL September 13, 2010 at 7:47 am #

    I may be a boob, butt I just don’t get it.

  20. J -- somewhere in Central PA September 13, 2010 at 8:17 am #

    When this update ran in the Centre Daily Times, one of the jokes going around was “Did you read the paper today? Well you should, but keep it away from the kids…it’s all about Boobs & Butts!”

  21. Mark, Upstate NY September 13, 2010 at 9:16 am #

    True story…my ex-aunt married a guy whose last name was Beaver. So her name was Barb Beaver aka Barbi Beaver.

    Imagine if she was involved in this caper. hehehe

  22. Kyle, Pittsburgh September 13, 2010 at 10:28 am #

    Could be worse… My wife worked with a guy who’s name was Richard Swallow. Seriously!

    I can’t imagine what his parents were thinking.

  23. Val - USA September 13, 2010 at 12:26 pm #

    Truth – my daughter has the last name Beaver and went through school and is still friends with a girl that has the last name of Dick. You can only imagine the looks they get when paying with debit/credit cards.

  24. eileen in san jose, ca September 14, 2010 at 10:25 am #

    Some parents just don’t think how their children’s names will effect their lives. A friend has a client named…Richard Peter Johnson. All good, classic names when used separately.

    Then, there was a new baby in the mid-80s named Pitbull Shotgun, poor kid!

  25. Mark, Ridgewood, NJ September 17, 2010 at 10:20 am #

    At college, I lived down the hall from twin brothers: Richard (aka Dick) and Peter Hertz.

  26. John, Milwaukee, WI September 18, 2010 at 9:41 am #

    In a previous job, I had to customers with unique names. Harold Butts and Richard Holder. What were their parents thinking?

  27. pup in GA September 18, 2010 at 8:22 pm #

    Decades ago my ex-wife lived in Oak Ridge TN. There was a scientist there whose last name was Pigg.

    If you ate dinner with them, one of the sons would joke that you made a Pigg of yourself.

    There is a famous former governor of TX who named his daughter Ima — last name Hogg.

  28. Douglas - York;UK September 26, 2010 at 3:41 pm #

    Another member of the Pigg family was a child enrolled many years ago in our local school whose parents very thoughfully had her christened with the names of 2 maiden aunts; “Annie R. Pigg” — all very well until the names were read out in full when taking the first class roll call, and her aunt Rhoda’s name was included….

  29. Paul Essex, UK October 14, 2010 at 11:09 am #

    During the recent election for leader of the Labour Pary, my vote went to Ed Balls. I just couldn’t resist the idea of a possible Prime Minister Balls one day.

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