You’d Be Proud Too (a.k.a. “Billy Club”)

NOTICE: Includes NSFW Photo

I can relate. No, not to genital giganticism, but rather to the unsmiling corporate response to parody. In my case, it was Hasbro, with the Get Out of Hell Free cards.

Surely the BeProud folks will be happy to hear that my stick was big enough to beat back the corporate types (read: I used my high priced lawyer). But with this, they’ll have a good fight ahead of them. From True’s 20 January 2002 issue:

When It’s Got To Be There All Night

The United Parcel Service is threatening to sue California-based BeProud, a “leading retailer of gay products,” over the retailer’s newest addition to its “American Heroes” action figure line: the $49.95 “Billy Parcel Service” doll. “This particular product is a very clear infringement on our trademark,” complained a UPS spokesman. “It’s not a generic policeman. It’s not a generic fireman. It’s very explicitly a UPS delivery man and that’s an unacceptable use of our brand.” The courier’s lawyer notes that the product is advertised as “‘anatomically complete’ and …is grotesquely so.” BeProud says UPS “should be flattered.” (National Post Canada) …Now now — you both should know that what counts isn’t the size of the package being delivered.

In Uniform


Scroll Down If You Dare

Now don’t come crying to me if you scroll down to “the” photo and get offended by a plastic doll without his shorts on.

You’ve been warned.

(If you do look at it, be sure you’re sitting down. I won’t be responsible for any injuries which may occur if you faint, either.)


How UPS Wants Him to Look

Remember: you can’t say I didn’t warn you.

If the United Parcel Service gets its way, Billy will lose his “Billy Parcel Service” uniform and will have to deliver his package dressed like this. The BeProud site proudly notes that the Black and Latino versions are “uncut.” Um, yeah….

For more on my own fight with the corporate suits over parody, see my Get Out of Hell Free cards fight. They’re considerably cheaper than Billy, and get the same delightful squeal from people who see them — and from a wider range of folks, too.

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3 Comments on “You’d Be Proud Too (a.k.a. “Billy Club”)

  1. I thought it was hilarious. You’d think the UPS carrier would take it as a compliment. Personally, I think it’s just wishful thinking on the part of “Be Proud”. LOL!!!

  2. As a very newly-minted young gay man (or “newfie”; a bit rude, but funny!) back in 1997, when the “Billy” doll series first appeared, I found them incredibly entertaining, at least in an eye-rolling sort of way. The overwrought paroxysms of uptight revulsion and heterodefensiveness they frequently inspired, even more so. Over nothing more than an elephantine plastic wang! Ahh, the 1990’s.

    BTW, Randy, you may want to drop the “BeProud” hyperlink above — the entire line of Billy dolls was discontinued back in 2005, and BeProud as an entity doesn’t appear to exist anymore. The link above redirects to a generic online store for risque and questionable products, with no mention of Billy or anything else related to this story.

    Thanks for the heads up (if you will) — I’ve removed the link. -rc


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