Episode #22: “Spoon-fed Newsbite”, from True’s 2 November 2008 issue.
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Peter Albert, 52, accepted a plea bargain after an incident in Anchorage, Alaska. Albert had tried to rob someone of their watch with a spork, which the newspaper helpfully explained is “a combination fork and spoon” — and, if that’s not clear enough for readers, it also noted sporks are a “hybrid fork-spoon utensil.” Thwarted when he couldn’t get the watchband’s catch to release, Albert stabbed his victim and then ran off, leaving “a number of Kentucky Fried Chicken products at the scene of the crime.” To avoid a possibly longer sentence, Albert, who police say was drunk at the time of his crime, pleaded guilty to assault with a deadly weapon, and will serve one year in jail. (Anchorage Daily News) …In other news, domestic airlines have been thrown into chaos now that sporks have been declared deadly weapons.
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